Je mi dvacet!

Vím, slíbila jsem, že budu psát v češtině, ale dnes jsou mé dvacáté narozeniny, tak mi to snad odpustíte. Občas dokážu vyjádřit pocity spíš v angličtině, možná je to tím, že je mému srdci bližší. Snažila jsem se popsat rok, který byl pro mě nejdůležitější, nejzásadnější pro můj životní postoj.

The beginning of my 19th age was just a mess, I used to drink a lot of alcohol, go clubbing and those kinds of things. I used people and they used me. I had a lot of „friends“  a lot of messages in my mailbox, and a full itinerary. But I was still missing one thing – happiness. I was surrounded by a lot of people and things, but after I stopped liking these people or things, I went to buy another thing or I went to find new friends. It was a game for me, but inside of me was one big mess, I was sad, empty. Then the situation changed, after my prom I decided to change everything and I wanted to start over, but there wasn't an option to start over, so I had to change, it took a long time, a lot of small steps and finally when summer came it was better, I was seeing just a few people and not so often, I closed my heart, because it looked like the safest way for me, but still I wasn't lucky, just ok.

Then came something that changed my life, just one week of talks to amazing people, all of them gave me a lot, their stories, wisdom, they listened to me and talked to me. I was able to talk about my problems on the first night, because I heard the story of one amazing person and I felt that I was able to trust him, to trust someone after a long time and then I realised that I was able to trust a lot of people there, that I was able to talk about my past and finally I was able to close my past. I learned a lot this week and I am really thankful for the opportunity to meet all of those powerful and special people.

This year I realized, that relationships are not about being with someone just because you don't want to be alone. Relationships are deeper, hope, faith and more.  Also, our life goals, we just focus on them and forget to live, but more importantly is the way we reach our life goals, because that way is our life. I needed a lot of things, I spent money on things, now I need less and I prefer to spend my money on adventures.

At the beginning of my 19th age, I didn't know who I was, but now I am on a good path and I am happy. I am happy at the place where I am now, I am where I am supposed to be.

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